Hi all. It's been quite awhile since the last update. Some of you are asking how things are going, and some of you may have forgotten about us entirely, so here's the latest from the Doyle house.
Today marks the 7 month anniversary of my car accident that left me with a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury. My decision to write has nothing to do with the anniversary. I just decided to write this update (probably a subconscious motivation to avoid creating pacing guides for the courses I'm teaching this quarter) and happened to notice just now that it's the 26th. I don't write based on dates or moments of importance, but during bouts of energy (and/or work avoidance). As a new school year begins I am doing more than I was able to do a few months ago, but still far less than I did before the accident, and I hope I'm currently able to do far less than I will do once this injury has reached its maximum healing point.
Last week Amy and I attended the Heart concert. Rock concerts are too overwhelming for me even without a brain injury, so I rarely attend them. But Ann Wilson is one of the greatest female vocalists ever, and the chances to see her perform are running out (she's 63!), so as my birthday gift Amy bought us tickets in June to attend an August concert. The conversation was something like this:
Amy - "Do you think you'll be able to attend a rock concert on August 20th?"
Me - "That's 2 1/2 months away! I'll probably heal a TON by then! Let's do it!"
August 20th arrived and far less healing had happened than I had anticipated. The conversation on the day of the concert went something like this:
Amy - "Do you think you'll be able to attend the concert tonight?"
Me - "As long as they play very quietly with no bright lights I'll be just fine."
We got there and I discovered that Amy got us AMAZING seats. In this case AMAZING is code for the loudest spot we could find. We were very close to the speakers and bright, flashing lights. It would have been quieter behind the drums. In fact, it would have been quieter inside of Ann Wilson's microphone. My sunglasses never came off (even when the moon was high above us) and the ear plugs saved me from passing out. To be clear, I haven't had an alcoholic beverage since the accident. Nevertheless, the next day I felt HORRIBLE. I din't want to see any lights or hear any sounds. My head hurt, I felt weak, trembly, and ill. It felt like I had a MASSIVE hangover. But as I told Amy, judging by the number of beer cups on the ground at the concert, and having seen one woman assisted out of the venue before the end of the concert, I was probably not the only one with those symptoms on August 21st. It was totally worth it.
Work also started last week. I have a new computer with a new operating system, and all our courses have been moved to a new Learning Management System, so there's a lot to keep my brain busy and confused. I'm hoping that fumbling through the new systems for two weeks with will get me through it.
I'm still having light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, mild headaches, and word-finding difficulty. The fatigue is the most consistent factor in all this. For those who can relate, I've compared this to being in the first trimester of pregnancy all the time. I wake up with aspirations of completing a handful of things on a modest to-do list, but by noon (or sooner) I realize that list was ridiculously optimistic. A list I used to be able to complete in a day might take me a week to get through now. (If you're still waiting for thank-you cards from Kaiden's birthday party the first week of June, some have been written and they're on my dining room table.)
In late July I was in Morton Grove to stay with my family for two weeks. I took Kaiden, while Amy stayed back home in Longmont to get some much-needed rest from keeping our family going since the accident. While in Morton Grove I'd come down for fantastic breakfast and Kaiden might already be fed and clothed and ready to join his cousins for play at the park. I'd go upstairs and sleep while they played, then come down for another great meal (or homemade cream puffs!!!) before retreating to bed for the night. I'd recommend this experience to any and all mothers out there. I got to do a few fun things while I was there, but I was able to check off very few of the things on my list of what I wanted to do and people I wanted to see while I was home. I did get a lot of rest, however, which is exactly what I had been ordered to do.
I haven't done anything physically active since the accident, but I'm eager to start swimming again when it makes sense. Just wanting to be active is a good sign. For a few months the thought of physical activity was awful because of the injuries to my right side. Once the side was feeling better I didn't have the motivation because of the persistent fatigue. A brief bike ride two days ago proved to me that it's too soon to do that. A one-hour yoga session when I was visiting my family proved to me that it's too soon for that. Twenty minutes of yoga seems to work, and short bouts of walking is just perfect for where I'm at right now. I've surrendered to the fact that I'll not play soccer again, because the risk of another head injury is just too great. I was gleefully active in two women's leagues when the accident happened, so giving up soccer is a bummer for me. I'm sure I won't have trouble finding other ways to keep active and gleeful outdoors in Colorado. ;-)
As for progress... In June I never would have been able to fly to Chicago with Kaiden. In June I never would have been able to go to the Heart concert -- or even near the venue. I'm eating in restaurants again, which was really overwhelming to me in June. I had no desire to get on a bicycle or into a pool just a few months ago. Progress is slow, and expectations are lower, but healing continues.
I continue to be incredibly grateful for everything Amy does for our family when I am not at my best. I'm also really grateful to be teaching online, because I'd never be able to continue work if I had to go to a classroom every day. Please forgive us for not being better about getting out and about with friends and family, and thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers. We appreciate them all!
