GENDER
Let's start with a conversation about gender. I'm a high school teacher. Imagine someone asks me how many boys and girls I have in a class. I can usually answer this by simply looking at the list of names. David is a boy. Catherine is a girl. Linda is a girl. John is a boy. Tracy and Jamie are... Oh, I'm not sure. On the first day of school my students enter the room. Here comes Jamie, wearing a form-fitting sweater, capri pants, attractive mid-height boots that match her belt, mascara, nail polish, long hair. Jamie's a girl. Here comes Tracy. Tracy is wearing a baggy hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans that sag. I can see the top of Tracy's boxer shorts. There's a bit of stubble on Tracy's face. Tracy uses the term "bro" while bumping fists with Michael, who is wearing a football jersey. In an instant I have identified the gender of every single student in my classroom, and I haven't seen anyone's genitals.
"WAIT!" say conservatives against the so-called "bathroom agenda". "How can you possibly know how many girls and boys are in your class if you haven't seen any genitals?"
GENITALS
This illustrates the most important error concerning transgender legislation. Lawmakers aren't stating that only men can enter men's restrooms. They are saying that only penises can enter men's restrooms. This might seem like the same thing, but it isn't. Not always. About 6 in every 1,000 people are transgender. That means the woman in the restroom who is re-applying her mascara in the mirror, and fussing over the chip in her nail polish -- has a penis. The man you see in the restroom, with the sleeveless t-shirt, flat chest, camouflage cap, and a beard -- has a vagina.
This is not an easy thing to comprehend. I totally understand. I was never taught that girls could have penises and boys could have vaginas. It seems completely absurd. To most people it feels as absurd as if I hold up a photo of an elephant and say "this is an elephant, but 1% of the time this could be a giraffe." It's incomprehensible. The "T" in LGBT has long been misunderstood and I'll soon explain how it has also been misrepresented. As a person who is not Transgender I do not claim to be an expert. I'm just pointing out that we already know who the women in our midst are, and if one of them walks into a men's restroom there will be a lot of discomfort from the guys at the urinals. If she pulls up her dress to reveal a penis as proof of restroom eligibility, she might be beaten to death.
SEXUAL IDENTITY vs. SEXUAL ORIENTATION
LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. The LGB all have to do with sexual orientation. The T has to do with sexual identity. Sex organs are the sole determinant of "Gender" on a birth certificate. If a baby enters the world with a vagina, that baby is a female. Transgender individuals identify as one gender, while possessing the genitals of the other. It must be understood that sexual identity -- "are you a boy or girl?" is not the same as sexual orientation -- "do you feel attracted more to boys or to girls?" A toddler can tell you if he's a boy. But he won't know who he is attracted to until he starts to feel an attraction -- which won't happen until his early teens.
I have recently read articles about how "the transgender agenda" is currently targeting the traditional binary bathroom model, but its ultimate agenda is to de-sex society. These articles claim that marriage equality efforts by gays and lesbians was one step toward this agenda, which disrupted the husband/wife relationship that is the bedrock of human society, and now we have to deal with men wanting to go into women's bathrooms. WHEN WILL IT END?! As is always the case in these articles, the people in the majority seek to make themselves out to be victims. They are outraged that their religious freedoms are being trampled by those who seek to upend God's design. When presenting one's self as a victim, the other person is automatically placed in the position of aggressor. An attacker. The step that is skipped entirely is the one where one makes a case that transgender people prey on people in bathrooms. By saying we'll be safer in the women's room if we disallow transgender women to enter them is to imply that they are abusers. They are not. There has never been any evidence to support this claim whatsoever. But people sure are afraid.
But seriously, all that lady with the penis wants to do is pee! Can you please stop inventing this crazy de-genderizing conspiracy theory and JUST. LET. HER. PEE?
THE REAL VICTIMS
Firing up fear about how transgender people are part of a conspiracy to upend the very foundation of human society has horrible consequences. Hostility toward transgender people is EXCEEDINGLY common, The danger comes not just from others, but from themselves. Half of all transgender adults report having attempted suicide at some point during their lifetimes. HALF! Sixty-four percent have been victims of sexual assault as a result of their transgender status.
Keep in mind, that's only the ones who managed to survive suicide or fatal attacks long enough to make it to the survey. It's impossible to know how many lost their lives before getting the chance to answer.
Those who live their lives as the gender they know they are, rather than the gender assigned to them on a birth certificate, face an incredibly threatening world. Read about the fatal beating of this woman, or this woman, or just read this jaw-dropping list of people in a Wikipedia page that is being constantly updated. Just Google "Transgender violence" to see that none of the violence is ever the transgender person doing the attacking.
RESTROOM VULNERABILITIES
Another absurd thing about the transgender legislation is the staged portrayal of men preying on girls in restrooms. Sexual predators do exist, in alarming numbers. They occasionally target children in restrooms. Those children are boys. It's mind-boggling that people claim our children will be safe from sexual predators if we keep all penises in the men's rooms. If we want our children safe from sexual predators, we need to focus our attentions on sexual predators, not transgender people.
NOT "THE WRONG BODY"
We've heard journalists describe transgender people as "trapped in the wrong body." This is an unfortunate portrayal, because the bodies we have are the ones God gave us. If we think that God doesn't make mistakes, then the man with a vagina is exactly as he should be. To call him "her" because "she" hasn't had "the surgery" is an act of oppression. To ask him whether or not he is going to have "the surgery" is really impertinent and offensive. If you look masculine but tell me your Joe's daughter, I will not respond this way: "Daughter? Hm. So, ...you have a vagina?" I'll just take your word for it. Who would know better than Joe's daughter if she's a female? Stop getting hung up on the body you think someone else should have, and just be nice to people. Also, don't pity the person. To portray the person as "trapped in the wrong body" is to suggest that they are a pitiable victim. Gender Dysphoria is a real and miserable condition caused mostly by the world telling transgender people they are broken. But transgender people can live very happy lives, as long as legislators and abusers aren't in the habit of attacking them.
TERMINOLOGY
If a guy tells you he's a guy, then he's a guy. Stop saying "she" or "her" about him.If a woman tells you she's a woman, then she's a woman. Stop saying "he" or "him" about her.
If someone tells you what gender they are, accept that you may never know what genitals are between his/her legs. If a masculine person walks into a ladies' room, assume that person can read basic signage and knows that's where she belongs.
"Transvestite" is the term we all became very familiar with by watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Everyone in my generation can picture the "Transsexual Transvestite from Transylvania" doing "The Time Warp" in HIS fish-net stockings. This is just one more reason why we are all so confused! We watch a great movie, while throwing toilet paper and toast, and four decades later we realize we have learned all the wrong terminology. Tim Curry in drag is not one bit transgender. He's just a guy in fishnet nylons. Transvestites are men in drag, so Dr. Frank-N-Furter qualifies as a transvestite.
"Transgender" is the term to indicate one whose own sense of gender is not the same as the one in the vital statistics records.
"Transsexual" is a term going through some evolution. It used to mean someone who had surgically transitioned from one gender to the other, because "sex" refers to the genitals, while "gender" refers to the identity. But someone may take male or female hormones that change everything from vocal range to facial hair to breast development, so "the surgery" doesn't have to happen for someone to be considered "transsexual".
Don't say "tranny." It's rude.
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE I KNOW
I only know I know four transgender people personally. I say "know I know" because I went to a local showing of a documentary called "Faces and Facets of the Transgender Experience," and was shocked to see that some of the transgender people featured in the documentary were sitting near me in the theater. I never would have otherwise known they were transgender. That bearded guy leaning against the wall in a flannel shirt and jeans looks like a regular guy. He "passed," one might say. People who "pass" are those who everyone assumes has always been the gender they claim to be. They probably started the transition from one gender to another at a young age. We are all encountering transgender people all the time, and we just don't know it because they are living authentic lives and look the way they feel.
Some were forced to delay the transition, being advised by well-meaning parents, and under-informed health-care providers, that what they were stating so forcefully and consistently as children was "a phase." During puberty they went through permanent physical changes. In some cases these physical changes lead to a serious crisis of identity and an inability to "pass" without significant surgery, which is an enormous financial and emotional burden that not everyone can bear.
One thing that has surprised me as I have gotten to know some transgender people, is that many transgender women weren't super girly before transitioning. Of the four transgender women I've gotten to know personally, one had been a champion race car driver and auto mechanic, another had been a high-ranking police officer, another had been a combat soldier, and another had been a construction engineer. Another, who I've never met, was the greatest male athlete in the entire world... until she told the world she was actually Caitlyn Jenner. To one transgender friend I commented with sarcasm that I wouldn't expect transgender women to be such macho men. I would have expected pre-transitiion transgender women to be the stereotypical effeminate male with flamboyant mannerisms -- hair stylists, fashion designers, maybe Broadway musical choreographers who employ copious use of "jazz hands". She replied, "We go through a lot to try and make our dads proud of us."
Transgender people put up with a lot. Try not to be yet another facet of what they have to endure.
If you want to know more about this (since I'm not an expert), start with PFLAG and GLSEN,
